Welcoming Our Marine Mammalian Overlords

Opening Credit:  The idea for this post comes from my first-born, the Jedi-Physician, who has a great respect for intelligence wherever in the world she sees it.   She is quite open in her world-view that if dolphins could walk the Earth, the humans would be their slaves.  They may seem like benevolent sea creatures, but they leave the apes behind with their cute faces that hide their true cunning.

For example, it is now known that the Navy has been training dolphins to sniff out marine mines.  See this LA Times article from May 2010.    But think about this:  when you visit Sea World and take in one of those shows where the super-smart dolphins frolic with the cute and tanned animal trainers to inspiring music, do you think about how many dolphins they must “interview” to get this A-team of compliant mammals?  They have to be smart, sure, but they also have to be able to work with people.  And this is the crux of her argument: the more the smart ones learn about us humans, the more they will be able to get back to their “people” with a strategy to take over the world!  So is it really a good idea to share military training protocol with them?   Hey, with the melting of the polar ice caps forget about brushing up on your Mandarin and focus on learning how to swim long distances and “click and squeak” like Flipper.

Having a healthy respect for all creatures who share this planet with us wretched humans would go a long way toward preserving life as we know it.  Remember, the humble bottom-feeding cockroach has been here far longer than we have — is it because they don’t think too much of themselves and all their stuff?  It isn’t just because they multiply at a fantastic rate:  humans have been doing that, too.   Or do we just need a lot of scavengers around to clean up after us?  In essence maintaining a jobs program for vermin?

I’m just here to remind us not to get too big for our evolutionary britches, and pay attention. As amazing a human invention as it is, you still can’t use a smart phone under water.


3 thoughts on “Welcoming Our Marine Mammalian Overlords

  1. I heard about the military using dolphins. Well all I can say is it’s a good thing “Flipper” isn’t on tv anymore. I’ll never be able to look at dolphins the same way again…

  2. I’m a sucker for those marine shows, but the freelance dolphin I saw off the coast of Doolin in County Clare,
    western Ireland, was the most amazing b/c she was doing it on her own time!

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